What are your reasons?
If you are a woman and you are reading this, there is a high probability that you have found yourself in a situation where you need to hide a pregnancy. Let's face it: there are many reasons why a woman might want to do this. Maybe your parents won't let you marry him, maybe he's not interested in kids right now or maybe he already has 3 other wives (Muslims count, right?)
Whatever your reason is, we are not here to judge; because if you've got one at all then it must be very strong! Thus it becomes obvious that the most important thing to do next is finding ways how to hide your pregnancy for 9 months.
What does your fetus look like in the 9th month of pregnancy?
Before we can begin with the tutorial on how to hide your pregnancy for 9 months, it's important that you know what you are dealing with.
There is one observable difference between a pregnant woman and someone who isn't: if you are not pregnant, no matter how much weight you gain, your center of gravity will never shift enough to make your belly bulge like that of a pregnant woman's (unless of course, you buy this neat 'Bump It Up' gadget which is totally meant for straight women).
On the 9th month, your baby will be about 20-25 inches long, have a head that is disproportionately large and weighs around 7 pounds. So any sort of upper belly bulge will surely raise suspicion!
How to hide a pregnancy for 9 months: nine effective principles
Principle 1 - no clothes fit
So this principle alone could save you from being sent to the maternity ward due to false labor! If you have been blessed with an extreme case of morning sickness or if your baby was very early (premature), what you should do is wear as few layers as possible. Now there are many ways from which you can choose, but I think it's best to go with the all 'natural' look where not much is hidden.
Thus wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans and a loose shirt are good options. A loose shirt will provide plenty of space to conceal your growing belly while jeans, due to their dark color, will also hide the ever-increasing size of your thighs and legs (which you should have noticed by now). Also, don't forget to opt for flats!
There is no point in wearing heels when you are trying to make it look like you haven't gained any weight; not only can high heels sprout up some false labor, but they also add unnecessary inches to your butt and thighs .
Principle 2 - no maternity clothes
Now, if you are an average joe who can hide her pregnancy for 9 months without being sent to the maternity ward due to false labor, you will have to go a step further. Simply following principle 1 above won't be enough! People will still know that you are pregnant so it's time to start thinking strategically. The best way is by not buying things for your baby at all.
So do yourself a favor and leave those adorable t-shirts with teddy bears on them in the store! Whatever you do just don't buy any clothes for your baby or even toys. Now we can already imagine how weird this might look - no clothes for the baby, BUT it is your only option if you want to make sure that people don't notice your pregnancy.
Forget about buying any baby clothes until after you give birth!
Principle 3 - more layers
If you wear more layers, then there is more space to conceal your ever-increasing belly. So this means that you should buy yourself bigger, bulkier clothes. Notice how we said "buy", because by now you will only be shopping for the winter season; which means boots! Boots are great for making sure that no one thinks that you've gained weight anywhere else but on your belly.
Wearing outfits with lots of layers can help hide a pregnancy even for 9 months! Moreover, it really looks more stylish when you compound layers like this.
Principle 4 - baggy clothes
Last but not least, no one can forget about wearing baggy clothes! If you want to make sure that people ignore your growing belly, then buy yourself a whole new set of baggy clothes and never take them off! This principle is seriously the most important: if people think that you're just fat and not pregnant, then all your efforts will be in vain.
So wear those gigantic sweatpants or those giant hoodies for as long as you can so no one realizes how large your belly has become. Then after 9 months when people finally see you pregnant (as it's inevitable) they will definitely think that you only got fat and nothing else.
But be attentive, because baggy clothes may either hide your pregnancy for 9 months or reveal it! So do yourself a favor and wear those clothes as much as you can. Select baggy clothes reasonably, try such colors as black, dark blue, beige and you will definitely succeed in being the only one who knows about your pregnancy. It's up to you what color to pick for your T-shirts though, but I would still recommend something that matches your skin tone.
Principle 5 - attract attention with accessories
You can always add to your outfit big earrings or a contrastive bag that will make people think that you've gained weight and nothing else. This secret is really simple: if people notice your weight, then they will completely ignore the fact that you are pregnant.
If you want to attract attention with accessories, go for something big and contrastive! And if someone asks about your pregnancy say: "Oh I only gained some pounds" , no one will ever know how fat you actually got.
This style hack will help you not only during pregnancy but also during other times when you want to look full and heavy.
Principle 6 - face massage
Your pregnancy is visible not only because of your tummy but also due to your swollen or tired face. That is why it is important to care about your face. You can hide your pregnancy by putting ice cubes in the freezer and massaging with them your cheeks when you get home.
This is a great way to disguise swollen or puffy facial features! Moreover, not only people will think that you are just fat but also they may start wondering what is wrong with your health - after all that's what most overweight people do anyway.
You can even use this ice trick at work. Just keep some ice cubes in an empty jar of water and afterward simply go near the window every once in a while to let them melt! This secret can seriously last for 9 months, no one will ever know about it. If you don't like having bags under your eyes then simply massage them too (that's when the skin is puffy beneath them), it will definitely help you look less tired.
Another great trick that really works for 9 months in a row: neck and chin massage! What this means in practice is that you should put yourself in front of the mirror every morning and feel your neck muscles, then rub them with both hands. It has to be quite gentle because we don't want to pull any muscle, just loosen up those swollen becomes. The same goes for your chin. After all, there are lots of people who have double chins even without being pregnant, so why shouldn't you?
Principle 7 - detox diet
Swelling during pregnancy is quite normal, though if you want to hide your 9th month of pregnancy, you have to care about your body. What does that mean? It means healthy skin with no stretch marks, hair that doesn't lose its shine, and most importantly - a good detox diet.
Of course, it is recommended to eat only healthy foods but you should also be aware of all the toxins in your body! First of all, get rid of caffeinated drinks from your daily menu because caffeine has been shown to reduce skin elasticity. That's why you have to stop drinking coffee or at least drink decaffeinated one. In addition to this important rule, drink lots of water and eat veggies , they will provide not just healthy skin but also clean your system from unwanted chemicals!
Principle 8 - hide mood swings and taste preferences
We all know that during pregnancy women are more likely to cry, but that doesn't mean that you should wear waterproof mascara lenses! You can hide your mood swings by wearing sunglasses or hoods for example, no one will ever know what is wrong with you.
My tip for this principle: pick clothes according to the weather, so if it's sunny outside then don't wear red colors because they stick out like a sore thumb. The same goes for the green color. If it's cold outside then wear something warm and if it snows then take off your scarf. Those are great tracks during 9 months of pregnancy Oh and one more thing - eat whatever you like (if possible) but always go for healthy food! That means carbs but not too many, fruits and veggies (if you are not sensitive to them), and protein. What kind of protein?
- eggs
- chicken breast (make sure it is cooked through!)
- salmon
Principle 9 - restroom issue
During pregnancy, you go to the loo more often than usual. If you don't want people to think that you are pregnant, then it's time for you to pay more attention to your restroom schedule.
You should always go for the closest restroom because no one will ever notice if you go 3 times or 10 times in an afternoon. And if they do? Simply say that it is close by and there is never a line. No one will realize that their colleague has become pregnant since she pees so often!
How can you else hide your pregnancy at the office?
Among all the said above, you can also try to eat a lot because that will make you feel bloated and then you won't be able to notice the belly. And if that doesn't work then just cover up with guns, meaning shoulder pads of course.
Make sure it is not too obvious so people have to take a good look at your outfit first before they realize what's going on there. You can still wear heels but don't go higher than 2 inches because otherwise, your feet will hurt for sure.
When sitting try to conceal everything with a table or a laptop. That way you can avoid those weird stares from your colleagues and those who have been keeping up with the office rumors will keep believing that you are just as slim as before without any clue about your pregnancy!
And if all else fails - blame it on the food, especially if you have an Indian colleague, because they really love to gossip. They will speak behind your back but cannot say anything directly to your face!
When is it the proper time to tell about the pregnancy?
Being at the 9th month of pregnancy is a great time to show off your baby bump and finally tell all the office gossipers about your good news!
And what is the best way to break this secret? Well, that's easy - just wear something low cut or slightly indecent, and when someone asks you why you are dressed like that just say: "Oh it is just the latest fashion trend!"
Everyone will be jealous of you because they don't know such secrets but believe us - once they find out they will feel stupid for not realizing sooner. Good luck girl, we hope everything goes smoothly at work and in life in general!